Got wood?
If you go down to the beach today, you’re sure of a big surprise..
After an unsuccessful attempt to catch Jonathan Ross heading in for his first day back at work, I was sent down to the East coast to have a look for some of the wood that was reported to have begun washing up on the beaches in the area. Having fallen of the back of a ship in the English Channel a few days before, the Coastguard had been tracking the “potential new shed” of wood with interest (do you have a better collective term for floating construction timber?)
Having covered the beaching of the MSC Napoli and the ensuing scramble for BMW bikes and cosmetics, this was a much more conservative affair with local builders stocking up on free top-grade timber and old guys wandering up the lanes with the makings of a new fence over their shoulder.
The Police, as before in Branscombe, could only request that people leave their names and addresses if taking the timber with them in case the insurance company wanted it back. Now when the hell is the container ship carrying cameras, lenses, laptops and Frank Zappa cds going to shed it’s load? I mean, come on, surely it’s my turn?
I remember well your BMW bike bandits shots; they were how I came to know your photostream and blog.
How about a “fallen forest” of timber as a collective term? Anyway, I hope none of those builders intend using that salt-soaked timber for house construction.
In the fourth shot above there’s a couple of amusing optical illusions where the guys in the background look like they’re carrying planks of wood. You being such a Pro and all that, I’ll credit this as not being by chance.
Hmmm, “Fallen forest”. Not bad at all. How about a “mega-splinter”?
As for the composition of the fourth shot, I’m horrified you ever doubted me!
Got Wood? Really man? That was the best you could do? How about “Beech wood”… beach, get it? No? Fine.
I think the pics of people pinching BMWs off the beach was how I also first learned of your punning artistry too.
I’ve created a monster! So much pressure for high-quality puns these days.. I can’t take it!
Tourists flock down to beach to pick shelves.
Sea shelves, sea shelves on the sea shore.
Wood you believe it! No references to walking the plank?
Plank tonnes wash up on shore.
The third picture with the poor dog, throw a stick and shout FETCH!!!!!!
I think that Australian sun’s getting to you..
Uh, that “Mark” character was me btw. Might have been a little drunk…
hehe I noticed when I approved it and saw your URL! Goddam pisshead..